How to have mind-blowing sex all month long
THE HIGHLIGHTS:
- Sex positions can feel different depending on where you are in your menstrual cycle.
- There are several distinct bodily changes that occur during the menstrual cycle that may affect how a sex position feels.
- Want to have sex during your period? An orgasm can actually help to relieve cramps, but period sex is all about how comfortable you feel inside and out.
- Experiment with the same positions at varying points in your cycle. You may find it feels different depending on where your body is at.
Recapping the phases of your menstrual cycle
THE FULL READ:
You can actually enjoy sex all month long. You can do so by trying different sex positions and foreplay styles for each specific phase of your cycle.
There are three phases of your menstrual cycle:
- Follicular phase: This includes menstruation and lasts until ovulation.
- Ovulation: This occurs when your ovary releases a mature egg through the fallopian tube.
- Luteal phase: After ovulation, your body either prepares for pregnancy or doesn’t, if the egg was not fertilized.
Through each phase, there are three main bodily changes that may influence how you experience pleasure:
- Cervical position (yes, your cervix changes throughout your cycle).
- Natural lubrication levels (cervical mucus plus arousal fluid).
- Emotional and/or mental health as well as libido fluctuations caused by your hormones.
If you aren’t currently tracking your menstrual cycle, no worries. To get started tracking, check out this article: How to track your period & what it can reveal about your health.
Sex during menstruation & the follicular phase
Is period sex even safe? The answer is yes. You can have (really enjoyable) sex while on your period. We spoke with OB-GYN Dr. Heather Bartos who explained that reaching climax can even help relieve menstrual cramps – huge win.
Here are some bodily changes to expect during this phase:
- Cervical position: Lower, firmer, very slightly open.
- Natural lubrication: More fluids to play with thanks to your period blood! After your period, for the rest of the follicular phase, your cervical fluid will gradually increase leading to ovulation.
- Libido & mental health: Extra slippery fluids can turn people on, others might prefer to be left alone. Once your period ends, estrogen levels begin to pick up. This may boost your mood and make you more inclined to social interaction. 1
The best sex positions for your period
Masturbate, solo or with a partner
Sometimes penetration is just too much sensation during your period. So get out your vibrator (or favorite sex toy) and play around with whichever pulses and speeds feel best. You can even try this in the shower for easy cleanup.
Spooning
Certified sex coach Myisha Battle recommends this low-impact position for period sex. In this position, the receiving partner lies in a cozy, almost fetal position, giving them more control over the depth and angle of penetration. The big spoon (giving partner) can also use their hands to stimulate the clitoris or other erogenous zones, adding extra pleasure.
Cowgirl position
If you are someone who gets turned on by period sex, Battle recommends you get on top. This allows you to leverage that energy while also maintaining some control over speed and depth of penetration. In the cowgirl position, the receiving partner straddles the penetrating partner and can adjust the rhythm and depth to their comfort.
Play around, tilting your hips at different angles. You can also try this position without penetration.
Octopus
In this position, both partners are in a seated position. Have your partner wrap their hands and legs around you from behind. You can lean back into their embrace, feeling their body pressed against yours. This position allows for deep intimacy and closeness, while also providing the flexibility to explore clitoral stimulation or other erogenous zones.
Period sex tips
Worried about stains? Pop in a Flex Disc™ for awesome, mess-free period sex (oral sex and manual stimulation included). A menstrual disc sits in the fornix and against the pubic bone, and it might even facilitate cervical orgasms. Shower sex is also a great option for minimal cleanup. We do not recommend sex in the tub as it can increase the risk of infection.
Remember that menstrual discs can’t get “lost” inside you during sex, or at any time. Flex is held comfortably in place within your vaginal fornix and can’t go past your cervix.
A little extra sensitive while having period sex? Nerve endings are more sensitive during menstruation, so communication and being attuned to each other’s comfort levels is key. Try positioning your hands on your partner’s waist or wrist. This way you can offer a physical cue if penetration feels too intense.
Remember: Your cervix is a bit lower during menstruation and the follicular phase. For some, cervical pressure feels amazing, but for others, it can be slightly uncomfortable.
Sex during ovulation (your fertile window!)
Your most fertile times are the days leading up to and around ovulation, A.K.A. your Fertile Window.
Here are some bodily changes to expect during ovulation and the days leading up to it:
- Cervical position: Cervix is higher up in the body, softer, more open.
- Natural lubrication: You have increased cervical fluid during this phase, which means extra lube au naturale. This cervical fluid typically looks like egg whites.
- Libido & mental health: Libido, creativity, and energy levels tend to be higher in this phase.
Your basal body temperature increases just after ovulation. So, if you’re trying to conceive, using a basal thermometer can help you identify your most fertile days.
The best sex positions to try during ovulation
Doggy style
Sex coach Myisha Battle shares that, this is a fantastic time to try deeper penetrative sex positions. Doggy Style is a fun sex position to work with because you can do it in so many ways!
Try it on all fours, against or on the edge of the bed, in a standing position. You can even try different variations of Doggy Style such as Frog Leap. In this position, the person being penetrated squats instead of resting on their knees.
Another variation is Turtle, when the person being penetrated is in a kneeling position, but wraps their arms around their thighs.
Reverse cowgirl
If you are looking to stimulate your G-spot, try this!
Similarly to Cowgirl position, the receiving partner leans forward a bit, while on top, but facing away from the giving partner. For those who are on the shyer side, this gives some privacy to unabashedly feel all the feels.
Pretzel dip
This position allows for deep penetration while still getting to lock eyes with your lover. You lie on your side, while the giving partner’s legs scissors you.
Both of your hands are free, so you can also give and receive pleasure at other sites like the clitoris, nipples, testicles, perineum, etc.
If you ARE trying to conceive… BONUS POSITION:
Legs on shoulders
A twist on missionary, but even better for those who are trying to get pregnant. This position also offers great g-spot stimulation.
Lay on your back and throw your legs over your partner’s shoulders, tilting your pelvis upwards.
This position allows for deeper penetration, making it easier for sperm to get through the cervix and reach their target. When trying to conceive, gravity can help. Stay lying down for at least 15 minutes after your partner finishes. This helps prevent the semen from exiting your body right away.
Fertile window sex tips
Your creativity levels are at their peak during ovulation. You’ll be extra horny, probably a little more energetic. You will also be totally clear-headed to plan that perfect date night.
Not looking to get pregnant but engaging in penetrative sex with a person who has a penis? Use protection.
You have a higher chance of getting pregnant on the day of ovulation and the five days leading up to it. However, keep in mind that depending on your cycle length, you can technically get pregnant during ANY phase of your cycle.
Sex during the luteal phase
These are the days post-ovulation, leading up to your period. In this phase, estrogen levels drop and progesterone takes over. You might feel a little less productive, a little more irritable,2 or experience PMS symptoms.
Here are some other bodily changes to expect:
- Cervical position: The cervix moves back down to its pre-fertile window position, a little bit lower and firmer.
- Natural lubrication: You tend to be the driest during this phase, thanks to a bump in progesterone levels.
- Libido & mental health: Different for everyone. For some, post-ovulation progesterone levels can create calming vibes. For others, it might include physical and emotional PMS symptoms that make intimacy or intercourse particularly unappealing.3
The best sex positions for the luteal phase
Erotic massage
While you might experience vaginal dryness during this time, the Skene’s and Bartholin’s glands can still produce arousal fluid when you’re aroused.
These glands are located near the urethra and the bottom or back of the vaginal opening, respectively. So, lube up, and have your partner gently stroke different parts of your vulva, or try some clitoral stimulation.
If you get the luteal sleepy vibes, these sex positions allow for your partner to do most of the work.
Tired doggy
In this position, you lie on your stomach (yes!) stacking pillows under your pelvis so that your butt tilts up some. Your partner enters you from behind.
While you have less control in this position (cervical bumping beware!), at least you don’t have to move so much. And, for some, cervical bumping actually feels good.
Classic missionary position
In missionary, you get to lay back (you actually lay flat on your back), relax, and enjoy the show. The giver assumes a kneeling position between your legs and takes control of all the thrusting motions. This is a good position to make eye contact for an intimate connection during the luteal phase. As your body experiences changes and hormonal fluctuations, it’s natural to seek sex positions that require less physical effort.
For an added twist, put a pillow or two underneath your hips to adjust the angle of penetration. For some, this feels incredible.
Lotus position
Where one partner takes a cross-legged sitting position, and the other sits on their lap, wrapping their legs around them. Then start rocking back and forth. Another great position that involves lots of face-to-face, skin contact, and cozy intimacy.
Luteal phase sex tips
Use lube to help conquer the dry spell. Alternatively, play with your saliva (or your partner’s). Try licking and/or sucking your or your partner’s finger before stimulating your clit/vulva. Don’t forget about oral if you aren’t in the mood for penetration.
How do you know which sex position is right for you and your partner?
Finding the right sex position for you and your partner comes down to communication, experimentation, and personal preference. Discuss your desires, comfort levels, and any physical limitations with your partner. Try different positions together and pay attention to what feels good for both of you.
Other things to consider for really good sex
If you have a tilted (a.k.a. retroverted) uterus: Just as all vulvas and vaginas are different, some people have a uterus that tilts in a different direction than the “norm.” When the uterus is tilted towards the back, i.e. retroverted, deep thrust and penetration can cause discomfort in more “traditional” positions.
If this is you, try out positions like doggy style and reverse cowgirl. These positions work with your uterus’s tilt rather than against it. Experiment and try new things and new positions until you find what feels good.
Aside from different sex positions, keep in mind
Pee before play: Dr. Bartos shares that a full bladder can change the position of the cervix. So, you may want to empty out.
Pee after play: Peeing after sex is the easiest way to help flush bacteria from the area. This decreases your chances of contracting a UTI and/or other vaginal infections.
If your partner is also a vulva owner: Remember that you may be in different cycle phases, so make sure you check in with one another.
If you are on hormonal birth control: Because hormonal birth control alters your hormones, what is outlined above may not fit with your experience. Some forms of hormonal birth control stop ovulation altogether, and most alter cervical fluid secretions.4 Contraceptives may also decrease overall libido.5 Always check in with your body – and your doctor – and remember that you have options!
Now that you know how to hack your cycle for an amazing sex life, go ahead, get naked. You can thank us later.
This article is informational only. It is not offered as medical advice, nor does it substitute for a consultation with your physician. If you have any gynecological/medical concerns or conditions, please consult your physician.
© 2023 The Flex Company. All Rights Reserved.
- Derntl, B., Hack, R. L., Kryspin-Exner, I., & Habel, U. (2013). Association of menstrual cycle phase with the core components of empathy. Hormones and behavior, 63(1), 97–104. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.yhbeh.2012.10.009[↩]
- Albert, K., Pruessner, J., & Newhouse, P. (2015). Estradiol levels modulate brain activity and negative responses to psychosocial stress across the menstrual cycle. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 59, 14–24. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2015.04.022[↩]
- Ossewaarde, L., Hermans, E. J., Van Wingen, G. A., Kooijman, S. C., Johansson, I., Bäckström, T., & Fernández, G. (2010). Neural mechanisms underlying changes in stress-sensitivity across the menstrual cycle. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 35(1), 47-55. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2009.08.011[↩]
- Wolf, D. P., Blasco, L., Khan, M. A., & Litt, M. (1979). Human cervical mucus. v. oral contraceptives and mucus rheologic properties. Fertility and Sterility, 32(2), 166-169. https://doi.org/10.1016/s0015-0282(16)44174-9[↩]
- Castleman, M. (2019, February 15). The latest on birth control pills and women’s libido. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-sex/201902/the-latest-birth-control-pills-and-women-s-libido[↩]
